Loving others or self-compassion?
When I talk to my clients or students in my practice, I notice something over and over again. Many lightworkers are endlessly trying to please the people in their environment.
This need to make others happy is often so deeply rooted in the light bearer, that they automatically first pay attention to what their private environment wants before they even think about what they themselves want.
But where does this deep need come from to make "everyone else" happy first? What's hidden behind it?
Quite often there is a very specific fear behind this - often unconscious - behaviour. The fear that our own feelings could be hurt.
What hides behind the need of pleasing others?
I beg your pardon?
OUR feelings? So mine?!
But I'm always making sure, the others are happy?
Did these words just go through your head?
Let me explain how I get that.
Once you see that everyone around you is happy and content, you do not have to worry about being rejected for your choices and actions.
Because, if you get rejected, then your feelings will be hurt and you will not feel well anymore. That is why you have acquired a behavior that prevents this mechanism from the beginning.
But today I would like to introduce you to a completely new concept.
Have you ever thought about who actually hurt your feelings and where your feelings actually come from?
Emotions arise INSIDE YOU. They are a part of you and they can only arise if you allow it.
You are the source of feeling, your fears, your enthusiasm, your passion. No matter which feeling it is, it always arises inside yourself first!
Now, when you think about how often you deny your needs and your desires to please others, just so that your feelings are not hurt, which in turn arise within you ... Hm ... That's kind of twisted, don't you think so?
What if you first met your needs and responded to those needs?
If you said NO more than say yes and then keep your fist in your pocket because of it?
If you would learn to go into self-compassion to yourself?
What would happen then?
With self-compassion to self-love
If you'd love yourself so much, that you'd allow yourself to be in the first place in your life. Do you think that you still need a bad conscience and bad feelings? Or could it be, that you then realize, that this decision makes you a little freer?
Out of sheer self-love and self-compassion, how about making more time for your decisions today and more time to be authentic and loving for yourself?
Because the bad feelings you have - the feelings of guilt, the "feeling rejected", the bad conscience - thay are in your. And in the very moment you decide, that you are not going to make room for those feelings, they are fading away.
How about making yourself very concrete goals for the next few days to go into self-love and self-compassion? What do you think would happen?
Do you like to try it and then share it with me?
I would be very happy to read from you!
Love & light,